do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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