areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
We need to get me chipped asap
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
