im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
