??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
