im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
