when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
