let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
