Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
