Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
