what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
