i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
