NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
