you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
