You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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