i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
