Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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