She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
