I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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