I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
