she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
