I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
