He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
