he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
