Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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