the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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