just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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