How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
