I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
40s are totally the cure
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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