she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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