is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
