How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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