I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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