Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
