I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It's just like the Real World with babies
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
