ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
