Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
