Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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