you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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