OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize