I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
