Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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