There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
