I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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