You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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