The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
