the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
