I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
