I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
