Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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