I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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