I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
