He asked to "fluff my boner.."
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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